So a short time ago I had some Jehovah’s Witnesses come to my front gate. What on Earth (or in Heaven, Hell or anywhere else) would drive people to expose their children to such trauma is beyond me. But that’s not what this post is about.
For the sake of my fingers, hereinafter the Jehovah’s Witnesses will be referred to as the JW’s. No offence is intended…it’s like referring to Jemaah Islamiyah as “JI” or L. Ron Hubbard as “Nutjob”.
This post is about a couple of really basic things that the JW’s believe. No, not the transfusion thing, there’s some actual sense to that if you go back 100 years or so. (Or to the AIDS epidemic.)
What I’m on about is the war in Heaven that saw the Angel Lucifer (now the Devil) cast out of Heaven and Michael (apparently Jesus) victorious. The details of it are all a bit muddy to me about who did what to whom and what got where and all that stuff.
There’s just one thing I can’t get past: How could you have a war in Heaven?
Before I go on, JW’s believe that God is just another angel. Not “just”, I suppose, but that God and all the angels are all, effectively, omnipotent beings. None of them inherently more or less powerful than any other.
Now, you’ve got a whole pile of omnipotent beings that are going to war with another pile of omnipotent beings. How can this get anywhere? Surely anything that any one or any hundred of them could do could be counteracted with the mildest of flicks from the opposition? I mean, these dudes are all omnipotent, right?
So, even if one hundred thousand billion of these dudes all teamed up against one in opposition, there could be nothing but stalemate. For if I can do anything, it doesn’t matter that you can do anything or that any number of you can do anything – because I can counteract whatever you might do.
So that’s a closed case.
The second, and final, thing I’ll hit here today is that the JW’s believe that they are the only ones getting into Heaven. That belief is not unique to JW’s, of course, but here a couple that are:
The only people that can get into Heaven are ones that died after Jesus. Only 100,000 souls will make it into Heaven.
So, nobody before Jesus (because he died for our sins and before that everyone was damned) gets in. It doesn’t matter how righteous or God-fearin’ you were, or how good a life you might have led. Not Moses, not Noah, not Job or King David or anybody like that. Fuck ’em.
Now, if only 100,000 people can get in, and those 100,000 need to be JW’s, then I’m afraid that Heaven is already full. How could it be full, you ask? Easy. More – lots more – than 100,000 JW’s have already died. So it’s full up, kids. Try for tickets the next time the Almighty goes on tour, because the stubs were so hot for this one even the scalpers are sold out.
Why on Earth would anyone continue to follow a religion that guarantees they will burn in Hell forever?
Maybe I’ll share some of my Mormon experiences next time… Leave a comment!